Are the Five Towns the “New” Hollywood?

By The Legendary Danny O’Doul

Dateline: Wednesday May 16, 2012; Woodmere, NY: Hot news straight off the presses. Hollywood comes to The Five Towns and, as your intrepid reporter, and guide to all things Hip and Cool – The Legendary Danny O’Doul — I bring you all the latest info, collected from my vast network of in-depth sources and thousands of contacts inside the World of Entertainment. So, what had the Police working overtime today and high-school kids going gaga on Forest Avenue, in Woodmere? Well, as hard as it is to believe — it was an on-location movie shoot for a new “big budget” Hollywood blockbuster! Yes, and what is even more fascinating, is the project they were filming: Exotic Tales of The Green Shtreimel — an exciting new detective mystery movie based on the upcoming book by, none other than your intrepid reporter, me, The Legendary Danny O’Doul. Under the code-name Blood Ties – my adrenalin-fueled thrill-a-minute screenplay about the adventures of The Green Shtreimel and his right-hand man, The Black Mink, stars James Caan, Clive Owen and Mila Kunis.

Of course, very few of the many Five Towns’ teens and housewives who lined
Forest Avenue had any idea that the dialogue and actions being filmed there were actually conceived and written in the nearby exclusive “Wemphis” enclave of Woodmere, just a few short blocks from today’s movie shoot. The most perceptive among today’s audience may have been aware that the vintage cars lining the street were brought in especially for the filming and they included the “The Green Mercury” – ( a 1970 Mercury Cougar convertible in “British-Racing” green with a beige soft top — also known as the “Green Shtreimel Mobile”). Some of you may have also noticed me sitting on a green wood-frame director’s chair with “The Legendary” emblazoned in gold on the back. You may have missed seeing me because I was a bit incognito — wearing my oversized gradient-tint sunglasses, tan safari jacket, ascot and khaki pith helmet. If I may say so myself, it was really gratifying having all these mega “A–List” stars asking me for insight into the characters and looking to me for my approval of their performances. Don’t worry, I was very kind and generous in my critiques because I did not forget that, after all, these thespians were honored guests in our town!

You can bet your ticket to the premier that The Five Towns have never looked as good as they do in this upcoming mega-hit of 2013 — Exotic Tales of The Green Shtreimel! Tonight, the stars and I, along with the director, Guillaume Canet, will be dining at The Five Towns’ newest hotspot “Sushi Tokyo” on The Avenue in Lawrence. I am certain that this hip and exciting Kosher sushi restaurant oozing the vibe of an ultra-cool lounge in Tribeca, or, maybe, Sunset Boulevard, will be the perfect setting for these Hollywood cats to experience all the charm, style and sophistication that is Central Avenue.

Perhaps for next week’s issue I will include some candid paparazzi shots of me and my Hollywood buddies partying on The Avenue. I think that James Caan may drag me down the block to the Judaica Sephorim Store next to Amazing Savings to buy a tallis (prayer shawl) with the name “Sonny” embroidered on the collar. Mila Kunis has also mentioned she may be in the market for silver candlesticks for her Shabbat candles. And, I guess I, myself, could use a new pair of 18” by 18” zircon-encrusted tzizit! After all, The Legendary Danny O’Doul has just “gone Hollywood!”

This is The Legendary Danny O’Doul inviting all my dear Readers to the “After-Party” at “Traditions” Deli immediately following the January 2013 Premier of Exotic Tales of The Green Shtreimel, at the Green Acres Murderplex!